Quick Tips for Mediators: notes from an experienced mediator

Quick Tips for Mediators

by Robert Lillis, ACR-Hawai‘i Director

  1. Shut up and listen (“Ripples from the Zambezi” Chapter 9 by Ernesto Sirolli)
  2. Establish rapport (“Never Split the Difference” by Chris Zoss) (“Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini)

    (“The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal” by Seth Freeman Lecture 6 Credibility and Rapport)

    1. Start with a hand shake (HBR June 04 2014 “To Negotiate Effectively, First Shake Hands)
    2. Good introduction (Mediation Training)
    3. Grinning is winning, be likable. (“Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini)
    4. Be more interested in the parties then their problem (“Ripples from the Zambezi”, Chapter 2 by Ernesto Sirolli)
    5. Ask “What’s going on?” (“Never Split the Difference” by Chris Zoss)
    6. Initiate small talk. See if you have a common enemy e.g. traffic in Honolulu, problems with the rail system, bloated bureaucracy.(“Getting More” by Stuart Diamond”) (“The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal” by Seth Freeman, Lecture 6 Credibility and Rapport)
    7. Be respectful of the parties and their problems. Remember it is their problems. (“Ripples from the Zambezi” Chapter 2 by Ernesto Sirolli)
  3. Deal with the feelings and emotions before tackling their problems. (“Never Split the Difference” by Chris Zoss) (HBR January 2013 Negotiating with Emotion)
  4. Let them solve their own problems (“The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal” by Seth Freeman, Lecture 6 Credibility and Rapport) (“Never Split the Difference” by Chris Zoss)
    a. Ask questions, let them educate you. (HBR June 27, 2014 Win Over and Opponent by Asking for Advice) (HBR Sept 2007 Investigative Negotiation)
    b. Be respectful of their problems, do not offer your own solutions(“Ripples from the Zambezi”, Chapter 2 by Ernesto Sirolli)
  5. It is O.K. to nudge them towards a possible solution. Nudge them to their own solution even though it might have started as your idea. (“Nudge” by Richard Thaler)
  6. Ask this question. For you, what is the other side not seeing? What are they not hearing? What are they not understanding? Then switch the question. What do you think the other side thinks you are not seeing, hearing, or understanding? (“Getting More” by Stuart Diamond”)
  7. Good mediators do not put up with bad behavior (“Getting More” by Stuart Diamond) and (“The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal” by Seth Freeman)
  8. Be quick to praise good behavior and any positive movement toward resolution. (Rebecca Phelps)
  9. Do not figure out who is right or wrong. (lose money) (“The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal” by Seth Freeman Lecture 1)
    1. Neutrality (Mediation Training)
    2. Be cautious of your own basis (“Blind Spot” by Mahzarin Banaji)
  10. Easy on the people, hard on the problem (“The Art of Negotiating the Best Deal” by Seth Freeman Lecture 1)
  11. Ask each side to consider what they could give to the other side that the other side would value(“Getting More” by Stuart Diamond”)
  12. Reality check when needed. (Various sources)
  13. If and when there is a settlement ask each side “Why is this settlement good for you?” the fewer reasons they give the better. This question help minimize buyer remorse. (“Never Split the Difference” by Chris Zoss)

14. End on a positive note, even if there is no settlement and the mediation did not go well. (“Thinking, Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman, Chapter 35 Two Selves)

15. Have some relevant stories or quotes which can be useful in resolving disputes, (Aesop, Twain, Ben Franklin, etc). (“The Power of Stories” Scientific American Mind, Aug 2008)

Quick Tips for Mediators

 Robert Lillis is the current President of IAM & AW LL in Honolulu.  He is also Vice Chair Labor Education Advisory Council, University of Hawai‘i-West Oahu. Robert works as a Marine Machinery Mechanic at the Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard.  He is a 6-year veteran of the US Navy qualified Nuclear Power, Submarine Service. He is certified Department of Navy Mediator with over 70 completed Mediations and has been representing federal employees for over 25 years.

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Through the Association for Conflict Resolution, Hawai‘i Chapter, you can…

Meet – Network with other colleagues in the Hawai‘i conflict resolution community

Be Informed – Receive regular updates by posts and email on local conflict resolution seminars, webinars, symposium, training projects, and National ACR events

Publish – Submit your research, articles and videos about conflict resolution for possible publication to share with the world at ACR Hawai‘i website

Develop – Got an interesting project/concept in mind to enhance the conflict resolution field? Perhaps ACR Hawai‘i can give you a hand by sponsoring it. Two projects currently sponsored by ACR Hawai‘i are Ceeds of Peace– A 360º Approach to Raising Peacebuilders and Virtual Mediation Lab – Free Online Mediation Skills Development & Training in Online Mediation

Our Mission – To promote and support peaceful conflict resolution and collaborative decision making at all levels in our society whether in our home, school, ohana, workplace, or community. We are mediators, arbitrators, facilitators, educators, social workers, lawyers, psychologists, child and family advocates, problem solvers, and concerned citizens – all dedicated to the pursuit of peace.

Free and open to the public: A distinguished Panel will discuss Indigenous Conflict Resolution: Practice and Integration

Monday, March 12, 2018

2:00 – 4:15 PM

Ali‘iolani Hale (Supreme Court Building)

Supreme Court Conference Room

Panelists: Malia Akutagawa, Laulani Teale (haku), Yuklin Aluli, Shawn Watts, Laurie Tochiki (Moderator)

Sponsored and hosted by the Center for Alternative Dispute Resolution-Hawai‘i State Judiciary in partnership with the Columbia School of Law Mediation Clinic, the Association for Conflict Resolution-Hawai‘i, the Hawai‘i State Bar Association-ADR Section, the Spark M. Matsunaga Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution, and the Mediation Center of the Pacific

For more information call CADR 539-4237 or email cadr@courts.hawaii.gov

Join us for Chai Time! A free, open to the public, opportunity to learn about…

Multilateral Negotiation:
Tools for Conflict Resolution and Prevention

Tuesday, March 13th, 2 PM – 3:30 PM

iLab/Building 37

Description: Multilateralism is a process of international negotiation involving primarily, although not exclusively, state actors and at least three parties. In the international context, effective multilateral negotiations help resolve and prevent conflicts. This session explores the characteristics and processes of multilateral negotiations, and considers how the model could be applied to address social, political and economic issues in the Hawaii community.

Speakers:

Professor Alex Carter is the director of the Columbia Law School Mediation Program, director of Clinical Programs, and a Clinical Professor of Law at Columbia Law School. Carter won the Jane Marks Murphy Prize for clinical advocacy while a student at Columbia Law School and has become a strong advocate of mediation as a valuable tool for many kinds of legal challenges. Through the New York Peace Institute, a nonprofit that specializes in mediation, Carter has served as a mediator. She has also supervised student mediations in court-related programs at New York City Civil Court and Harlem Small Claims Court.

Carter received her J.D. from the Law School in 2003, where she was articles editor for the Journal of Transnational Law and won the Lawrence S. Greenbaum Prize for best oral argument in the 2002 Harlan Fiske Stone Moot Court Competition. She earned her B.A. at Georgetown University in 1997.

Professor Shawn Watts is the associate director of Columbia Law School Mediation Program. A Citizen of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, Watts won the Jane Marks Murphy Prize for clinical advocacy and was a Strine Fellow while he was a student at Columbia Law School. He developed and teaches a course in Native American Peacemaking, which is a traditional indigenous form of dispute resolution. He has mediated in the New York City Civil Court, Harlem Small Claims Court, and the Institute for Mediation and Conflict Resolution, and supervised student mediations in court- related programs in New York City.

Prior to receiving his J.D. degree at the Law School, Watts served as the president of the National Native American Law Students Association and was a Harlan Fiske Stone Scholar as a student. During that time, he was also managing editor of Law School’s Journal of Law and Social Problems. Watts earned a B.A. from St. John’s College in Santa Fe, N.M. in 2000.

Co-Sponsors: Association for Conflict Resolution, Hawai‘i Chapter;
Spark M. Matsunaga Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution; The Hawai‘i State Bar Association, ADR Section; The Center for Alternative Dispute Resolution-Hawai‘i State Judiciary; The Mediation Center of the Pacific

For more information, contact the Spark M. Matsunaga Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution at UHIP@hawaii.edu

download the flyer

Join us at Let’s Talk Story! Hear and share stories and best practices regarding…

Strategies to Bridge Cultural and Generational Gaps

in Conflict Resolution

March 12, 2018

5:30 pm to 7:30 pm

Aliiolani Hale, Hawaiʻi State Supreme Court

Room 101, 417 S. King Street

Honolulu, HI 96813

Co-sponsored by the Association for Conflict Resolution, Hawaiʻi; Spark M. Matsunaga Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution; The Center for Alternative Dispute Resolution, Hawaiʻi State Judiciary; The Hawaiʻi State Bar Association – ADR Section; The Mediation Center of the Pacific

This is a free training event for members and volunteers of co-sponsoring organizations.

The State of Hawaiʻi is a truly unique melting pot of ethnicities and cultures, spanning multiple generations. From intra-familial conflicts to commercial disputes, the issues that Hawaii residents encounter on a daily basis often stem from cross-cultural and cross-generational misunderstandings. Join us to share stories and generate best practices relating to cross-cultural and cross-generational conflict resolution.

Click here to RSVP

Seating is limited to the first 25 Registrants

Download the flyer

1-hour Free Webinar from the Virtual Mediation Lab

ONLINE DISPUTE RESOLUTION:

RESOURCES SAVED, JUSTICE SERVED

January 18, 2018

9:00 AM Hawaii Time

This webinar will provide an introduction to court-connected online dispute resolution through a firsthand perspective from the Franklin County Municipal Court and its online dispute resolution (ODR) platform provider, Matterhorn by Court Innovations

In 2017, the Ohio State Bar Association recognized the Franklin County Municipal Court for Judicial Innovation for its online dispute resolution program.

WHY ATTEND?

This webinar will interest people involved with court-connected dispute resolution, including judges, court administrators, mediators, and attorneys. At the end of the webinar, participants will be able to:

  • Define court-connected online dispute resolution, including the who, what, where, when, why and how of ODR
  • Determine whether court-connected online dispute resolution is appropriate for their court
  • Identify steps to implement a court-connected online dispute resolution program
  • Forecast the project scale, procurement steps and benefits of ODR

Presenters: Alex Sanchez, Esq. and MJ Cartwright.

PRESENTER BIOS

Alex Sanchez, Esq. is Manager of Small Claims and Dispute Resolution at the Franklin County Municipal Court. Alex mediates all civil case types for the court.

Prior to joining the municipal court, Alex worked with the State of Ohio, The Ohio State University, and nonprofit organizations across the country.

In his spare time, Alex serves as an officer for a large private foundation that awards more than a quarter-million dollars annually through an international student STEM competition. Alex is a graduate of the Ohio State University Moritz College of Law and received his undergraduate degree from Loyola Marymount University.

MJ Cartwright leads all aspects of the online dispute resolution company Court Innovations. Matterhorn by Court Innovations provides meaningful, usable, and fair solutions that expand online and mobile access to our courts for all citizens: “go to court” without going to court.

MJ builds teams and businesses to develop powerful, disruptive solutions that solve industry problems, produce irrefutable outcomes, and leverage developing
research.

She has led technology initiatives in many different industries including: manufacturing, education and training, healthcare, and medical devices. Now she brings her expertise to the judicial ecosystem – working with Court Innovations’ founder University of Michigan Law Professor J.J. Prescott, courts, other stakeholders, and citizens to implement solutions that directly impact today’s issues.

WHEN AND HOW

This 1-hour webinar will take place Thursday, January 2018 at 2:00pm Eastern Time (11:00am Pacific Time | 1:00pm Central Time). You can attend this webinar with a PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, Android tablet or smartphone.

Admission is Free, but seating is limited. To register click the button below. If you have any questions send an email to Giuseppe Leone or call him at (808) 383-4117.

 

 

Register now for

The Art of Mediation: Mediation Strategies

by Lou Chang

January 31, 2018

12:00 PM – 1:30 PM  HST

Hawaii State Bar Association Conference Room

1100 Alakea Street, Suite 1000

Honolulu, HI 96813

Mediators assume certain demeanors in their role as mediators. Mediators can offer themselves as facilitators, benefactors, directive, evaluative or assume a special persona. Mediators usually have a general or default strategy as they go into a mediation. However, often, after listening and connecting with the parties, mediators will make strategic shifts from their default or planned strategy and can choose from a wide array of mediation strategies to maintain momentum in the process.

This 90-minute workshop will review the range of strategic options that a mediator may decide to utilize. Within the available time of the workshop, the presenter and participants will explore as many of the options as possible together.

About the Presenter:

Lou Chang, Esq. serves as an independent and neutral mediator and arbitrator for commercial, design & construction, labor-management, employment, business, franchise, real estate, insurance, probate, family business, personal injury and civil disputes.

Lou is also a teacher / trainer in the following capacities:

  • Adjunct Faculty/Lecturer at University of Hawaii, Manoa (Negotiation, Mediation Skills and Advanced Facilitation and Mediation (2003-16)); Wm. S. Richardson School of Law, Mediation and Advocacy. 2005; School of Architecture, Conflict Management for DesignProfessionals.
  • Adjunct Faculty, Chaminade University, Executive MBA Program, Negotiation (2015-16)
  • Faculty trainer of Arbitrators and/or Mediators: Am. Arbitration Assoc., Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service, Hawaii State and Federal Courts, Australian Commercial Disputes Centre, Hong Kong International Arbitration Centre, Subordinate Court-Singapore, Kuala Lumpur Regional Centre for Arbitration, Supreme Court of the Republic of Palau and others.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Non-member: $30.00 + $3.72 Fee

Member: $20.00 + $3.16 Fee

Student: $10.00 + $2.61 Fee

 

 

 

Coming on January 31, 2018 – Save the Date!

“The Art of Mediation: Mediation Strategies”

by Lou Chang, Mediator, Arbitrator, National Academy of Arbitrators

January 31, 2018
Noon-1:30 PM
HSBA Conference Room

Mediators assume certain demeanors in their role as mediators. Mediators can offer themselves as facilitators, benefactors, directive, evaluative or assume a special persona. Mediators usually have a general or default strategy as they go into a mediation. But, often, after listening and connecting with the parties, mediators will make strategic shifts from their default or planned strategy and can choose from a wide array of mediation strategies to maintain momentum in the process.

The workshop will review the range of strategic options that a mediator may decide to utilize. Within the available time of the workshop, we will explore as many of the options as possible.

Be there for this valuable workshop!

Costs: $20 ACR Hawaii members; $30 non-members; $10 students

See Lou Chang’s Bio

Registration details to follow

 

Join us at these December events!

December 1-2, 2017 

Public Participation in a Polarized Era: The Good, The Bad, The Future  

A timely workshop conference presented by: The ACCORD3.0 Network, The University of Hawaiʻi’s Public Policy Center, The William S. Richardson Law School at the University of Hawaiʻi, Ulupono Initiative, ThinkTech Hawaiʻi, and Honolulu Civil Beat

see the website for more information and registration details

 

December 8, 2017 

Annual Meeting, Association for Conflict Resolution, Hawai‘i Chapter

Honey’s Restaurant at Koolau Golf Club – Keynote presentation by Lou Chang, Esq. – The Healing Power of Apology – 6pm-8:30pm

Register Now!

 

Volunteer Recognition & Holiday Gathering

Mediation Center of the Pacific – celebrate with our fellow mediators – open to all mediators & supporters – HawaiiUSA Federal Credit Union, 1226 College Walk – 11:30am-1:30pm

see the flyer and the Mediation Center of the Pacific’s 2017 Honorees

 

 

 

ACR Hawaii 2017 Annual Meeting

Friday, December 8, 2017

6pm-8:30pm

Honey’s at Koolau Restaurant 

Koolau Golf Club

45-550 Kionaole Road, Kaneohe, HI 96744

Enjoy the keynote presentation on 

The Healing Power of Apology

by Lou Chang, Esq.

Let’s reflect together on the eventful year 2017 as we enjoy great food with fellow conflict resolution practitioners, facilitators of collaborative decision making, and advocates of peaceful decision making in our community!

See the flyer

Register now! 

Facilitators and peacemakers – you can help! Volunteers needed to facilitate Kailua community meetings on homelessness

Would you like to make a difference in this world?  Or, as Steve Jobs might say: “make your dent in the universe” before your life is done?  Join a team of volunteers who are lending their skills by facilitating meetings in Kailua to address homelessness issues.  The goal of the meetings is to develop a multi-pronged advisory plan to address, through practical community-wide solutions, the growing number of homeless individuals and families in Kailua.

ACR-Hawaiʻi Board Member Tom DiGrazia has been working with the Kailua Neighborhood Board Subcommittee on Homelessness, which had their inaugural meeting on October 7, 2017.  Attached are notes summarizing what occurred at the meeting.

We hope to create a team of facilitators with different skill and experience levels.  We are especially interested on working with younger generations to pass on our collective knowledge.  Many younger and less experienced facilitators and peacemakers will improve their peacemaking skill levels and help to further develop the professional peacemaking profession.

If you would like to get involved, please contact Tom DiGrazia directly at email: digraziat001@gmail.com, or phone: (808) 262-0770.

 

Mahalo – ACR-Hawaiʻi

 

Summary Oct 7, 2017 mtg